It's Not About You!!

I was not sure how I wanted to write this one and I am not very eloquent so I will do my best to get my point across back home. There have been some big realizations that have happened to me over the past month. In training we are learning all the methods that are being taught in Namibia. One of the methods is a “choose to wait” program. Obviously, they teach abstinence only. It is hard to see how this teaching method could be effective in a country that has a problem with HIV infecting about 20% of the population. People are having sex, how can we ignore that and only talk about abstinence. I knew today would be a hard session not to have judgment right off the bat, even though I have chosen to wait I have chosen that path for my own reasons. Most of the Namibian population is Christian, almost 90% from my view. While there are different levels of devotion some are devout and go to church every Tues, Thurs, and Sunday while some just believe in the power of the Holy Spirit. There is still that belief and faith there that many hold onto. The “Choose to Wait” model has been proven effective in many African countries. I can see how giving girls and boys this program and teaching them why it is worth it to wait for the right person can be effective. Some of these kids are begging for a way to not follow the people before them. Kids have to watch their parents, relatives, and siblings die from HIV/AIDS and they do not want to be next.

As I am sure many of you saw the Pope came to Angola and made some controversial comments about HIV and condom use. As a volunteer who is here to help stop the spread of this disease I just got frustrated feeling like we are taking steps backwards not forwards in the fight. While discussing the “choose to Wait” model one of our Namibian trainers brought up such a good point that I think made all of us stop to think why we are here and how we can help. He said that all of these people from the outside are telling us what we should not hear, but we are the Africans so isn't it our choice to decide the best way to eradicate HIV?. Then one volunteer followed up with four simple words that I think sum up everything I was feeling and how I would like to help these people…”It’s Not About You!!” We are not here to enforce our beliefs on them, we are here to learn about their beliefs and from that find a way to teach and inform about what is going on. I think a personal struggle for me is letting go of everything I think is right. I am coming to their home to offer help they asked for. I knew things were going to be different, but who am I to come in and say abstinence is not the only way. If that is their belief then that is my passage into the community and I will use that outlet to spread the education and information I have learned.

Another thing we discussed that made me think for a long time. As you may know Namibia is a post-apartheid country. They were oppressed for many years and are still growing since they are a very young country of 19 years and where you can still see the remnants of the past almost everyday. We are trying so hard here to help a country who is so fresh out of the separation not only among the white, colored, and blacks but also between the different tribes. Divide and Conquer is the only way to describe what people tried to do here. I was having a discussion with a volunteers and he said “If you compare the history of Namibia to the history of America, Americans could be the Afrikaners”. I understand history is written by the winners, but we as Americans can be so arrogant. Why do we as Americans celebrate the killing and forcing people out of their land and not see a problem with it? We have done some appalling things to a lot of people and there are still people who have that close minded view that America is the best place in the entire world and it can do no wrong. Please don’t get me wrong I love being an American and I have gotten such a great opportunity growing up in a free country where I am allowed to express these views and am now able to share some of the good things I learned with others who are so anxious to hear anything I have to say, but it was one of those comments that stuck with me. It is hard to hear first hand experiences from the people who went through the oppression here have to say about how they were treated. It was one of those moments that made our history a little more clear and real for me.

I really hope this came out alright I do not mean to offend anyone; please if I have I apologize I meant no harm.